Sunday, January 3, 2016

Paddle Your Own Canoe

"If we each had a gun right now, we would all be dead" - David Keller, while canoeing in 2008.

I am 8 years old and standing on the side of the Current River, 5 miles upstream from the small town of Eminence, Missouri. My mom and dad are loading our backpacks and cooler into the canoe, and beckoning me to come take my seat in the middle. I have never canoed before; my parents have once ten years prior, but they flipped that day and now I am very hesitant to begin our journey. I take my seat, and the bickering begins immediately. Not 100 feet downstream and my mom is insulting my dad, my dad is insulting my mom, and I am yelling with panic.

"God bless America, DAVID, you turn from the opposite side!"
"If you think you could do better, just do it yourself!"
"DADDY WE ARE FIXING TO HIT A ROCK!!!!"

A picture of my family canoeing
http://www.encyclopediaofalabama.org/images/m-4858.jpg   

If I would have had my way, we would have stopped immediately. But alas, we had to make it to the dock in Eminence. I gritted my teeth and managed to have a little fun splashing in the frigid river water, but once my legs were back on dry land, I vowed to never canoe again.

Fast forward 6 years: I am once again standing on the side of the Current River with a canoe in front of me. After my 6 year period of canoe abstinence, my parents had talked me into giving it another go. The previous day had been spent driving 252 miles from Hopkinsville, Ky with one stop at the roll-throwing restaurant called Lamberts. 

http://funplacestofly.com/photos/lamberts1.gif 

Meredith and Mia Kessler were along for the ride, and we were staying at the River's Edge hotel in Eminence. 

There were two canoes; my mom and Meredith had one while my dad, Mia, and I had the other. My dad was attempting to psych me out, telling me he was going to flip the boat and the rapids were wild today. I didn't let him though; I couldn't, or else I would have never gotten into that canoe. We set off, and promptly began the day with Meredith and my mom running into tree branches that had fallen across the river and getting themselves stuck. It was quite a funny scene, my mom screaming "DAVID!!!!" at the top of her lungs and Meredith attempting to push them away with her paddle. They finally got out of the bind, and almost instantly became the ones laughing instead of us because Mia had dropped a shoe during the rigamaror and we had to race to retrieve it. With shoe in tow, we stopped on the side for a lunch of 3 MRE's. We decided a dip in the water was a good idea, but quickly surrendered to the 58 degree rapidly flowing river. 

The river
https://bransonticket.com/sites/bransonticket.com/files/current-river-mo.jpg

At the end of day, no had died and I hadn't cried, so all and all it was a successful canoeing trip. We celebrated with dinner at a local diner in Eminence and an evening of games on the river's edge at the River's edge. On the way home the next day we stopped at Rocky Falls.

http://www.eminencemo.com/Gallery/Rocky%20Falls.jpg  

The waterfall had smoothed the rock down enough that in one place you could slide down the rocks like you were at a real water park. My dad tried to catch a snapping turtle while Mer, Mia, and I climbed to the top of the falls. After one last stop in Boomland (one of the largest firework warehouses in the world) to pee, we finish out our trip.

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